


Away We Go

by TexasBean



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blue Spirit and Painted Lady shenanigans, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jailbreaks, Katara Alone, One-sided Aang/Katara (Avatar), Season 2 AU, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, Zuko Alone, slight Blue Spirit/Painted Lady, slowish burn, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29290467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TexasBean/pseuds/TexasBean
Summary: Katara gets separated from her friends while fleeing from Azula and her cronies. The only way she can think of ever seeing them again is hopefully meeting up in Ba Sing Se.---Zuko is alone; Uncle is gone; and he’s a fugitive with no hope of ever returning home. He’s been wandering with no real destination in mind.---Katara and Zuko of all the chances, run into each other in some nameless Earth Kingdom town.They come to a sort of truce and from there, things gradually begin to shift.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 65
Kudos: 175





	1. In Which Katara’s Not a Damsel in Distress but She Could Be

**Author's Note:**

> I swear my perfectionistic nitpicking would hold this entire thing hostage so I’m just posting it. From a [random headcanon](https://fiyazu-lorko.tumblr.com/post/642038628310269952/hc-time) that idea expanded and bloomed into this. 
> 
> And here it was just supposed to be one really long one-shot, but now it’s a few chapters. Who am I to complain about being able to give more Zutara content??
> 
> Enjoy

Katara cursed her luck. She’d gotten separated from her friends while they’d been trying to escape the crazy blue-fire girl and her friends. Zuko was one thing; his sister was another. Katara probably should feel a tad guilty she could have a break from Toph; but dealing with exhaustion, and the younger girl’s unwillingness to lift a finger to help grated on her. Katara had tried to be nice and include Toph, but she’d been unwilling to accept it. She’d thrown Katara’s offer back in her face.

Sokka should be okay…he’d watched her cook, sew and do all those things…but did he actually _know_ how…? Katara shook her head. He’d be fine, and he’d take care of the others. Aang would be too. Toph was independent enough that she’d be fine, too.

Katara knew she’d gotten lucky; she managed to hide from the girl who could incapacitate with a touch. It was way too close of a call. Katara’s arms prickled even at the mere thought.

The idea of not being able to access her Bending – the sense of having water _right there_ and not being able to use it – it felt like one of her nightmares where she was being attacked while trapped and she couldn’t Bend – except this time it had all been too real.

The others had managed to escape, thankfully.

She hoped.

She hadn’t heard anything about the Avatar being captured by the Fire Nation. Because they’d have to gloat and show everyone that they were even more on the losing side.

No news was good news, right?

She stopped at some derelict town and asked if anyone heard anything. But the sad fact was, it was news to the people that the Avatar was back. And now they were hopeful, and gave her what little they could to help. It made Katara feel guilty that if Aang had been captured, she brought these people hope only to have it brutally ripped away again.

She continued on, intending to reach Ba Sing Se. It was the only thing she could think of.

All Katara had on her person was a few coins and her waterskin, and the meager food the villagers had given her.

It was hot. Katara’s legs ached. Riding on Appa had spoiled her.

She hoped she would reach Ba Sing Se soon. It was the only place she could think of where all of them could meet up again without trying to find some way to send a message. It made sense, because from wherever she was, it was closer than anything else.

She _could_ try to meet up with her Dad’s fleet, but then – how long ago was that message to Bato sent? How long would it take her to reach them? They could be long gone by now, anyway.

But here she was, on foot, with no idea how long it would take her to reach Ba Sing Se. She tried not to think about how exhausted she was and how sore her feet were. She just had to keep going and hope that she would see the others soon.

===

Katara came upon a small town, where the people kept their heads down and didn’t acknowledge her beyond a single, distrustful glance.

She was sore and exhausted. Maybe she could find a place to rest for a few minutes.

Katara was looking around for someplace she could find something to drink and maybe even eat. A voice got her attention.

“Well, well, look what we have here, boys.” An Earth Kingdom soldier grabbed her arm.

Katara shifted uncomfortably, trying to pull away. She tried acting naturally – like, she wasn’t worried. She noticed that people were decidedly looking away; leaving her subject to these jerks. People were leaving – leaving _her_ alone.

Five men – all of them were looking at her. She tried to ignore _how_ they looked at her. They were Earth Kingdom; they were supposed to be on the same side; they were supposed to not –

Katara managed to pull away, and the man released her. She rubbed her arm. “I’m with the Avatar. I’m supposed to meet him in Ba Sing Se to meet with the Earth King.” Katara rambled. “He’s expecting me.”

Make it obvious that someone was waiting – that that someone was powerful, influential and important. That they seemed like people who’d come looking. Hopefully, they’ll leave her alone.

“Oh, sure, sure,” the man replied, his tone was demeaning. Like he was entertaining a child’s whimsical fantasies. “Maybe we could help each other out?” the man brushed her shoulder, indicating his meaning.

Katara looked at him with disgust, but quickly tried to mask it. That was when she took a closer look, and a sense of dread sunk into Katara’s stomach. Their clothing was mismatched; with only bits and pieces of Earth Kingdom armor. It was all dented and dirty; and ill-fitting. And not all of them had armor.

These men _weren’t_ soldiers. Either that, or they had pilfered what they had. Or maybe they were deserters.

Another reached for her. “Be a good girl, and come with us, then.”

Katara snarled and water-whipped the man. He was stunned – and that was when the others moved; Katara was certain she could fight them off – she _knew_ she could – but she wasn’t at her best.

One man shoved her to the ground _hard_ , and Katara spat and cursed – she would put up a fight and _make_ them _work_ for _everything_ they could take her for – and then – there was a scream and blood. There was more yelling, but Katara couldn’t tell from who or where it was coming from. The man standing over her was violently shoved off. Another body fell.

Katara was on her feet.

Someone wearing a conical hat was attacking the men with dual swords.

One of the men tried to attack her rescuer from behind with earthbending, but Katara formed an ice dagger and shot it into a certain point into his leg just as he stomped the ground. His leg couldn’t support him, and wasn’t properly braced for the force of impact Earthbenders normally used.

Katara mentally thanked Yugoda for teaching her about such a trick. That just because the women weren’t allowed to learn how to fight didn’t mean they couldn’t come up with their own techniques to defend themselves.

The man yelled out in pain, and his scream was cut off when the stranger rammed his throat with the butt of his sword.

====

The men, limping, wounded, and in pain, all backed off, and Katara nearly collapsed. Her heart pounded in her ears.

Her rescuer was speaking to the men, but she couldn’t hear him. The men quickly dropped some of their things.

Money, a few small packages, even a shirt…

Katara stood up, taking in a breath, trying to calm herself.

The men gathered their wounded companions and quickly left, glaring hatefully as they retreated.

If the townsfolk were avoiding her before, they most definitely weren’t going to help her now. It was frustrating enough to make her want to shout and cry because she was exhausted and alone; far away from everything and everyone.

She at least, turned to the stranger to say her thanks, when --

_“You?!”_

Both of them yelled at the same time.

What was _he_ doing here?!

“Zu--!”

His hand covered her mouth and she glared as she shoved his hand away. Instead, he grabbed her upper arm near her shoulder. He was painfully awkward as he smiled tightly through gritted teeth and leaned towards her. “Call me ‘Li’. I’d _really_ prefer _not_ to be found out.”

He let go of her with a rather snarky, “You’re welcome by the way” and started to walk away. The jerk!

Zuko gathered what the men had dropped.

“What’re you doing here?” Katara asked through a hiss, leaning close to make sure no-one overheard since Zuko wanted to be _so_ secretive. “If this is some kind of elaborate ploy—“

Zuko cut her off with a scoff. “Yes. I totally planned on running into you in some backwater Earth Kingdom town. _Everything’s_ going according to plan.”

He rolled his eyes as heavy sarcasm seeped from his words. There seemed to be more to his words than what he was saying. He looked at her and muttered, “Peasant.”

“You know what I mean!” Katara shot back, but Zuko didn’t bother responding.

Katara frowned since Zuko didn’t seem interested in talking to her. Or even acknowledging her beyond his initial reaction to finding her _here_. Zuko didn’t seem the slightest bit interested in anything.

Katara silently watched as Zuko packed up his spoils in the pack on an ostrich-horse…and he just…started to leave. No attacking. No demanding to know where Aang was.

She followed after him, trying to think of what he could be up to. She didn’t even know how to properly react to this. Was he a threat? Was he waiting for her to drop her guard, and then spring an attack?

He led his ostrich-horse along several feet before he bristled and turned towards her. “Why are you following me? What do you _want?”_

“That’s what I should be asking you,” Katara replied, straightening and putting her hands on her hips. She couldn’t figure out if she should be suspicious or not. Zuko wasn’t wearing his usual armor, and instead wore some nondescript Earth Kingdom brown clothing. Plus, the old man that was often with him wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Just leave me alone.” Zuko muttered, and he promptly turned away from her and walked towards a small shop.

The shopkeeper eyed them nervously, watching Zuko’s every movement as he bought a few small packages of food.

“Where are you going?” Katara asked.

“Anywhere but here.” Zuko replied.

“Not back to…” Katara didn’t say Fire Nation, so she finished a bit awkwardly with, “…home?”

Zuko flinched and glared at her as if Katara had insulted him in a very personal way.

“Just leave me _alone_ already…” he hesitated and mumbled something and looked at her with a frown.

It took a moment for Katara to realize.

“You don’t know my name…” she was somehow very annoyed and angry. From how Zuko’s expression winced, she knew she was right. “You _seriously_ don’t know my name?”

“…Sokka?”

She didn’t bother answering, and instead scowled right back, silently demanding, _try again, pal._

“…Tokara?”

“It’s Katara!” she didn’t yell, but her voice was somewhat raised.

“Okay, _Katara._ I’m leaving.”

He then mounted the ostrich-horse he initially came in on and Katara was irked. Though, admittedly she knew she didn’t exactly have the right to be irked about the things she was actually irked about.

“You’re just going to leave me here?”

Meaning, he wasn’t doing anything to try and manipulate the situation into his favor like he had with her necklace and the pirates. Her neck still felt the lack of her mother’s necklace. She wondered if he’d thrown it away somewhere and it was gone for good.

Zuko sent her a look as if realizing something for the first time. “…You’re not with the Avatar?”

“We got separated.” Katara bit out and crossed her arms.

“Oh. Um. That’s rough?”

Katara scoffed at his awkwardness, and he scowled back.

An idea struck her. She wasn’t sure if this was a good idea or not, but this was a plan born of desperation. She could already hear Sokka questioning her sanity on this.

“Wait.”

He stopped and looked at her.

Katara expected…something else. Yelling, attacking, demanding…but not…this. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“What are you doing here, anyway? And not on your ship? I thought…” she’d thought Zuko had died in the North, or something.

Zuko’s expression closed off. He stiffly replied, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Look,” Katara could be diplomatic when she wanted to be. “We don’t have to like each other. But I need to… _not_ be here, anymore.” She wasn’t willing to share any plans with him.

“What?” Zuko snapped. “What do you _want?”_

Katara didn’t back down.

She asked instead, “Where’s your uncle?”

Zuko’s expression went _odd,_ and he glared at her for a few seconds before he turned away sharply. He wouldn’t look at her.

“…He’s gone.” Zuko said quietly. “We were split up.”

Was that worry? Or something else?

“I got split up from my friends, too, like I said. How about a truce?”

Zuko arched his eyebrow, and flatly responded, “A truce. Why?”

“Well, I want to meet up with my friends, and you obviously don’t want people knowing who you are, and you don’t seem to be going anywhere in particular.”

Katara smirked. “I could very suddenly be a damsel in distress,” she leaned towards him and very pointedly whispered, _“Zuko.”_

Zuko glanced around. There _were_ a few soldiers sitting outside of some rundown restaurant. They probably had no interest in involving themselves too much with common scuffles in the town; seeing as they didn’t step in when she was accosted and Zuko wounded a few of them.

Heaving a very dramatic-sounding sigh, Zuko bit out, _“Fine._ Climb on.”

The ostrich-horse squawked as Katara mounted it.

She didn’t exactly like having to basically push herself up against her…sort-of enemy, but how else was she going to stay on?

They were off once she had adjusted herself as comfortably as she could get.

As they rode away, it began to dawn on Katara what a crazy, not-very-well thought out plan this was. Zuko could just up and leave her in the middle of the desert if he wanted to. She _could_ technically do the same…but then she’d have to live with the guilt of abandoning someone who not only helped her – but who she also cajoled into helping her.

She was essentially acting on good faith that Zuko wouldn’t suddenly get the idea of abandoning her somewhere.

\---

Riding an ostrich-horse was different from riding Appa. There was a lot more jostling, and Katara’s muscles started feeling sore. Muscles she didn’t even know she had were feeling sore. Everything around them was monotonous; with the occasional rock or dried up tree.

The only sounds were the ostrich-horse’s grunts and heavy footsteps.

“So…” Katara said, attempting to make conversation. “Does she have a name?”

“What?” Zuko asked, distractedly.

“Does she have a name? The ostrich-horse.”

“Chi-Chi.” Zuko replied.

“…I ran into your sister.” Katara said after a moment of personally debating whether or not she should say something. Zuko stiffened up so tightly, that Katara thought that he had pulled Chi-Chi to a stop. Instead, they kept going. “That was how I got split up from my friends.”

“Oh.”

He sounded hollow.

“How’d you get split up from your uncle?”

“Do we have to talk about this?” Zuko’s voice was raised, but he wasn’t yelling. “Can’t you be quiet?”

“I’m just making conversation!”

“What makes you think I even want to talk to you?”

 _“Fine!”_ Katara snapped. “I’ll just sit here and be quiet!”

“That’s _perfect_.”

“Ass.” Katara hissed.

\---

They rode along for what like hours before Zuko hunched into himself before straightening.

“Sorry,” he muttered quietly. “I shouldn’t have…said that.”

“Oh. Okay…” Katara replied, surprised that Zuko would apologize without prompting. “Thank you.”

“We should stop and rest for a bit.” Zuko indicated a patch of dried grass. “Chi-Chi needs to eat, too.”

Zuko retrieved a bun from the satchel for each of them. They sat on the hard ground drank their water sparingly.

Zuko ended up removing his hat to reveal that his shaved-ponytail look was gone. Instead, it was replaced with short hair that had been filling in for a while now.

“Why _are_ you here?” Katara started, but quickly added, “You don’t have to say…”

“Uncle and I were…” Zuko replied quietly. “We got split up because of Azula too.”

He wasn’t looking at her, and his expression looked exceptionally lost. It made him look young. It struck Katara that Zuko was a teenager, like her. He was probably around Sokka’s age.

There were so many questions Katara wanted to ask, but Zuko shut her out yet again. Katara sighed. It wasn’t like she was trying to make friends with him, so she shouldn’t be bothered.

“What’s your plan, anyway?” Zuko asked, like a person who very much wanted to be left alone.

“Well…” Katara wasn’t sure how much she should share. She came to the realization she hadn’t exactly thought _that_ far ahead in her on-the-spot planning. She only had a rough idea of getting from one point to the other, but hadn’t thought about everything in between.

Sokka was _definitely_ the plan guy. “I need to get to Ba Sing Se. It’s the only place I can think of where I can meet up with Aang and the others.”

“Ba Sing Se’s this way…” Katara muttered thoughtfully, looking at the map Zuko had pulled out of his pack. “It’ll take us a week…hm…a week and a half?”

It was a bit difficult to tell, since flying all the time had warped her perception a bit.

“Two-and-half-weeks, three days. Give or take.” Zuko said quietly. “But we won’t be able to get into the city without passports. Which costs money – but there’s probably only enough for one of us. For you.”

“Just me?” Katara questioned, and it then occurred to her that Zuko really _didn’t_ seem to have any intention of sticking with her. Not that it mattered. He was…an enemy? Maybe? But Katara was thrown that Zuko didn’t seem interested in what she was doing. He’d been so invested in capturing Aang, Katara seriously thought that Zuko would find any excuse to involve himself in her plans.

“Well…” he blinked, looking at her. He seemed genuinely surprised enough about her question that Katara believed he _hadn’t_ been intending to stick with her.

“Unless we can manage to find someone who can get us both one.” Zuko said, still not really looking at her. He shrugged. “But…I’m not sure. I couldn’t find some old guy playing pai-sho in the last town, so…”

“What does playing pai-sho have to do with getting passports?”

“Uncle told me…he said…” Zuko shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, anyway.”

Katara was curious about what had happened, because something so obviously did. All Zuko had really said was that he’d gotten split up from his uncle thanks to Azula. But there was so much there that he wasn’t saying.

“We should go.” Zuko finally said.

“Okay.”

There was silence as they packed everything up. There wasn’t so much that it took them a long time.

Katara held onto Zuko as they went on.

She had no idea what to think.


	2. In which there is a Step Forward Even if Zuko is annoyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko doesn't know what the Waterbender is up to. They also have to share a blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They cuddle (sort of)

Zuko scowled and fought back a sigh as the Water Tribe girl kept insisting on trying to make conversation. Why couldn’t she save her breath and just let them travel in peace? Even with his vague, and very stilted responses, she just kept going.

What was she trying to do? It wasn’t like he really knew anything useful. He kept looking for the potential trap in her words, but couldn’t find it.

It wasn’t like they were going to stick together for that long. He just wanted her gone, and he could just…keep going to…wherever it was.

Was it a Water Tribe peasant thing to perpetually annoy people?

He’d already lost everything, and now the Spirit decided that he deserved to suffer further by dropping the Waterbender into his life.

He’d already snapped at her once, but had felt guilty about it afterwards.

Now, when she asked questions, she hedged around the obviously sore subjects – his family – he didn’t want to think about them.

When he refused to answer and complained that he _didn’t_ want to talk – she then began talking about something else. He breathed in and out.

She wasn’t necessarily asking questions anymore. Not about him, anyway. She talked about her people and the stuff they did back in the South Pole.

Someone did something stupid like hugging a moose-wolf while naked and covered in honey.

That was just – wait.

“They did _what?!”_

“I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.” She laughed.

Zuko glared at her, completely unimpressed.

The conversation soon lulled.

The silence was welcome, but admittedly the Waterbender’s voice at least made the trip less boring.

They had to settle down for the night, and Zuko quickly dug a few small vegetables from his pack – and some meat.

“Anything I can do to help?” the girl asked.

“No.” Zuko replied flatly.

He could do this on his own, just like everything else.

His food tasted awful, Zuko would be the first to admit that.

“It’s…interesting.”

He was exhausted, frustrated, everything was falling apart around him and she was a convenient target to unleash on.

“I _know_ it’s bad, alright!” Zuko snapped. “You can just say it!”

She blinked at him a few times, and frowned. “Alright. Fine. It tastes awful.”

Zuko huffed and laid down. At least he was already done eating. They had no choice but to share the only blanket. Which left very little personal space. Zuko scooted to the edge of it, keeping his back to the Waterbender.

He heard her settle down behind him a few minutes later.

She sighed, and made a humming noise. Then, “You’re not used to doing things yourself, are you?”

Well, it was _obvious._ Breathe. In. Out.

“…No.”

“I did all the cooking you know.”

Great, she was rubbing it in his face that she could ---

“I could show, you. If you want.”

Wait, what.

“…Why?” Zuko asked instead, instinctively searching for the manipulation and lies that definitely had to be hidden in her words.

She shifted. “Because. Why not? Don’t you want to learn?”

The Waterbender was confusing. He didn’t get what she was trying to do.

Uncle often rambled about accepting help and learning stuff when the opportunities arose or whatever and so on.

He sighed, trying to let go of any stress. Easier said than done.

He wondered if Uncle was…what would Azula – what would Father do? His face stung, just a little.

“Zuko?”

Oh. He hadn’t answered her.

He probably should learn.

“Alright.”

“Great!” she sounded too optimistic. “Goodnight, Zuko.”

“Yeah.”

He knew he should apologize. But...she seemed to be asleep. So he didn’t say anything.

\---

When Zuko woke up that morning at sunrise, he stiffened immediately. The Waterbender practically had herself wrapped around him like a koala-dog. And she was drooling on his shoulder.

He carefully pulled away from her, lest he wake her up and she accuse him of doing some untoward to her. She whined, a little and curled up as she shivered.

“H-hey.” Zuko poked her shoulder.

She muttered, “Not now, Momo.”

It was a little colder than Zuko realized – and – he’d been her heat source.

He quickly prepared breakfast. It was almost edible. Not really.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” the Waterbender asked upon smelling the rather burnt food. “I thought I was going to help.”

“I uh, tried. You called me ‘Momo.’” Zuko quickly replied.

“Oh. Sorry,” she chuckled and grimaced a little as she ate.

\---

She seemed to run out of things to talk about today. Other than asking the occasional question of, “how much longer?” and requesting to stop because she had to pee.

The Waterbender made sure to call out nearly every time, as if Zuko needed reminding to “not look at her.”

“I’m _not!”_ Zuko shouted back. _“You_ don’t look!”

It was so dumb and childish, and Zuko started to think she was doing it on purpose just to annoy him.

\----

They went on until the sun was low, and Zuko felt the Waterbender slump against him. It would soon be too dark to travel. He shifted enough so that she was forced to wake up.

“We need to stop for the night. Let’s find a someplace.”

The Waterbender spotted an outcropping of rocks and pointed it out.

It was big enough they could rest for the night with plenty of cover.

They set up their small camp, with Zuko mostly taking over the process. Which only really left the Waterbender to stand around and watch. Not that he cared.

“Anything I can do to help?” she asked.

“No.” Zuko replied with a near-snappish tone.

“Hey, I’m trying to be nice, you know.”

She only received an eye roll.

Zuko took some food out of the pack and began trying to cook it. Keyword; tried.

On the bright side, they had no need for spark rocks.

It was a bit of meat and rice.

“Let me,” she took over as if it were a natural thing. She added maybe a bit condescendingly. “We don’t want it to be inedible.”

Zuko nearly protested but was cut off with her saying, “If we continue with your version of cooking, we’ll be eating charcoal-flavored jerky. That would make Sokka wherever he is weep over the waste of meat. And we don’t want the rice to be mush.”

Zuko pouted, but didn’t argue.

The Waterbender was able to mostly save their meal. It was nearly overcooked and bland, and very meager.

They sat in silence. It wasn’t what could be considered companionable. It felt uncomfortable. It probably felt as uncomfortable to her if _he_ was noticing it.

Zuko wasn’t a conversationalist. He never talked to anyone – not even his crew. It had been Uncle who always approached him; trying to encourage and engage him, and Zuko had always thrown it back in Uncle’s face.

Zuko had Uncle and an entire crew, and in all the years he’d known them…he only knew their names. They had families, but Zuko hadn’t bothered to remember all those details. They hadn’t mattered in the day-to-day functions of running a ship.

Uncle remembered. Uncle knew all the details.

How many of them were even still alive?

Was Uncle…?

Zuko would never…he’d never get the chance to learn and actually remember.

He was now alone in the middle of the Earth Kingdom with a Waterbender who _kept_ trying to talk to him.

Zuko just sat quietly and stared at his empty bowl with a scowl and furrowed eyebrow.

“Um…” Zuko started, stopped. He let out a breath. “Thanks.”

That wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say.

“Sure.” She smiled a little. At him.

The silence got better. A little.

\---

The weight on his wrist was still there.

He’d gotten so used to it, that Zuko had nearly forgotten about it.

Slowly, Zuko stood up and walked over to her. And just stood there, stiffly, waiting to be acknowledged. 

She looked up at Zuko curiously. “Uh, Zuko?”

“I…” Zuko spoke quietly. He mumbled under his breath.

“Hm? What was that?” she asked.

Rather than repeat himself, Zuko held the necklace out to her. The blue cord was only somewhat stained; and a little more slightly frayed than when he’d found it. It had been through a lot since the Pirates, Jun, and the North…

He didn’t think the wear-and-tear was enough to be concerned about, but he wasn’t an expert. He’d made sure to take care of it because it had been his chance to… plus, she’d said it belonged to her mother.

A flash of blue, and her eyes lit up.

“Mom’s necklace!”

She grabbed it and hugged it to her chest in relief, while Zuko quickly retreated. He flopped down onto the blanket, facing away from her.

Slowly, Katara went to lay down next to him. He felt her there, just inches away. He listened to the sounds of wild, nocturnal creatures and he breathed. Chi-Chi scratched and snorted at the ground as she settled in.

Her voice was quiet. “I thought it was gone forever.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t say anything.

“Why’d you give it back?”

“There’s no point in me keeping it.” He curled around himself a little more and wouldn’t look at her. He heard the despondency in his own voice and grimaced, knowing she probably heard it too. “You said it was your mother’s, right?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

+=+=+=+

Things were quiet, again. Katara naturally was a night-cat-owl.

This situation was an odd one. Sokka would be questioning her sanity. Aang would be happy for a new friend. Toph would…Katara sighed. She couldn’t say she really knew what Toph would do or say.

Her thoughts went to Zuko, who certainly didn’t seem to think their – or rather, _his_ situation was ideal. She was trying to figure him out. Trying to figure out what was going on with him.

He wasn’t on his ship. He had different hair now, which Katara would admit made him look better. From what she’d learned about Fire Nationals was that their hair was a pretty big deal. And for Zuko to have his hair short…that had to mean something. Plus, he’d been split up from his uncle thanks to Azula…

So…he was traveling across the Earth Kingdom and calling himself ‘Li’. Guess that was the safest recourse – being the son of the Fire Lord wasn’t something he’d wanted to advertise.

He wasn’t hunting Aang anymore?

He gave her mother’s necklace back after taunting her with it that one time?

He’d made his way into the oasis in the North…

Her mind went to what he’d said back North – _you rise with the Moon, I rise with the Sun_.

“Hey, Zuko? You awake?”

There was silence, and she thought that maybe he was asleep. But then, “…yeah?”

She brought up what he’d said back then, and said, “It’s surprisingly poetic, coming from someone like you.”

She treaded the waters of teasing him, just a little. Just to see how he’d react.

Zuko suddenly sat up and glared at her – and maybe it was a trick of the firelight and shifting shadows, but Katara would have sworn that he was blushing.

“Why are you bring that up _now?”_

He scowled at her, but the effect was completely lost with how embarrassed he looked.

“I’m just curious.”

“Can’t you just go to sleep?!” Zuko huffed and practically threw himself back down. From the way he flopped and seemed to bite back a groan, it sounded like it might have hurt a little.

“Where’d you even hear that? Did you make it up?” She smiled. “C’mon, you can tell me. I won’t judge.” Katara snickered as she added, “Too much.”

Zuko groaned. He turned to look at her. “I got it from a play, _alright?_ Happy now?”

“Yes.” A beat. “What was the play?”

“Argh! If you don’t be quiet I’m going to make you sleep with Chi-Chi.” Zuko threatened. He then turned very purposefully so his back was to her.

She smiled. “Goodnight, Zuko.”

He huffed. Then, “’Night, Katara.”

She blinked, staring at the back of his head. A small, personal victory.

It wasn’t very long until Zuko’s breathing evened out. Katara woke up when she heard Zuko mumbling in his sleep, again.

Embarrassingly, Katara had apparently drifted in her sleep and was clinging to Zuko.

She quickly and gently pulled back from him, just in case he woke up and caught her. Katara almost regretted it when the chill hit her. She scooted so that she was pressed up against him, but not clinging.

Zuko sounded distressed, like he was having a nightmare. His face was contorted into a grimace as he mumbled. She wondered what he dreamed about to make him so worried.

Carefully, like she had the night previously, Katara gently ran a hand through his hair.

She kept her voice a quiet whisper. “Shh, you’re alright.”

That settled him, and he finally relaxed.

Katara stayed awake for a bit longer, listening to everything else. It sounded peaceful. Not long after, Katara fell asleep again.

\---

Zuko woke her up.

Katara yawned and stretched. She frowned when Zuko kept glancing at her with a frown on his face. What was his problem?

He’d already taken some food out to be prepared.

Katara showed him how to cook vegetables – watch the color carefully – you don’t want them overcooked.

Zuko sat and listened.

Their food was actually decent this time.

Katara was thankful she wasn’t the one doing all the work.


	3. In Which Zuko is an Idiot and Katara Wants to Strangle Him for One Reason and Then Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko grates on Katara's nerves, but she ends up getting pretend-engaged to him anyway.

Over the next few days, a sort of peace came between them; the silence was somewhat comfortable and Katara didn’t feel the need to fill it.

But there was something she started to notice about Zuko, and she wasn’t exactly sure what it was. She wasn’t sure if she should be concerned or not. He seemed more irritable at times…

When they stopped to rest, Zuko would hand her food and then go to sleep. He was sleeping a lot more lately, but insisted he was fine.

“Do you want me to at least check…?” Katara asked, wondering if he was sick.

“Don’t touch me.” It sounded almost like a threat, but not quite.

“Look. I’m just—“ Katara tried again.

“Can’t you leave it alone already?” Zuko said quietly, like a request and not a demand.

Annoyed, Katara grit her teeth, taking in a breath.

“Fine.”

Zuko said nothing.

For some reason she couldn’t name, Katara wasn’t satisfied with having the last word.

\----

In the mornings, their simple breakfast would already be prepared – but then Zuko was saying he’d already eaten… Which was a bit odd because they’d been eating together in the mornings before…?

At mealtimes he’d take a few bites and just make some ridiculous excuse about not being hungry and shove his food at her and then lay down.

He always insisted he was fine, and she had seen him eat...so…

“You’re acting weird.” Katara called him out.

After a few moments, Zuko’s clever comeback was, _“…You’re_ always weird.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “Is something going on?”

“No.” Zuko replied flatly.

“Really? Because it seems—“

“Nothing’s going on Katara!” Zuko snapped at her.

Katara’s jaw dropped in shock for a few seconds, because she’d really thought they had come _way_ past his snapping at her. It was almost like when they first started traveling together.

Katara’s jaw now tightened. She took a deep breath in.

“You _do not_ get to talk to me like that.” Katara said stiffly. “I’m just trying to make sure everything’s okay.”

Zuko’s own jaw tightened, and he turned away. “Just leave me alone.”

Were they seriously back to this?!

“Fine, you ass!” Katara snapped. “I’ll give you _exactly_ what you want!”

“Good!”

“Fine!”

Katara couldn’t exactly go storming off into the desert, and she couldn’t in good conscience leave Zuko by himself out here. She really wished they were near a stream just so she could dunk several gallons of water on him. She’d then dry him off and dunk water on him again, and leave him to dry off on his own.

She was mad at Zuko, and he definitely was in a mood.

She could talk to him just to annoy him; but she didn’t want to talk to him. She could completely ignore him.

But then…that was _exactly_ what he wanted.

Argh! She couldn’t win!

Maybe she could pull a page out of Sokka’s book and find other ways to be annoying without directly interacting with Zuko.

Zuko didn’t say anything as they packed up. The only way Katara even acknowledged his presence was by holding onto him as they rode on Chi-Chi. But then she absolutely wished she didn’t have to.

Zuko was completely stiff, and looked straight ahead; like _he_ was the one determined to ignore _her_.

That pissed her off because _she_ was the one who was supposed to be ignoring _him!_

He was such an ass.

\---

Chi-Chi trotted along, and Katara watched the scenery go by. For some reason, Zuko slowly started leaning to the side.

“Zuko?” Katara questioned, wondering what he was doing. He didn’t answer. “Zuko!”

He started to fall, and Katara held onto him. Katara couldn’t do much as they both fell to the hard ground. She let out a muffled curse as her shoulder took most of the impact.

Chi-Chi thankfully didn’t go running off, and instead cocked her head at them questioningly and squawked.

A quick scan of herself, and her shoulder was fine – it would probably be stiff, though.

“Zuko?” Katara tried, but there was no response beyond a quiet groan.

Zuko had passed out? Which was okay, in a sense – he’d fainted. But why…?

Scanning Zuko with a coating of water over her hand, Katara frowned… he seemed skinny – skinnier than he should be.

Biting back her frustration, Katara wondered what to do. There was no way she could pick Zuko up by herself.

She didn’t really want to be out her in the open – but there literally wasn’t anything around. There weren’t even rocks poking up out of the ground. At least, if someone tried to attack them, she’d be able to see them coming.

They’d have to rest here.

All she could do was make Zuko comfortable.

So Katara went to retrieve the blanket, and maybe make a simple stew. The town she’d stopped in when she first got separated from her friends had given her some spark rocks so could at least make something.

She first got Zuko onto the blanket, and then went into the food pouches and…she stopped, upon realizing how sparse they truly were. There was only enough here for a few simple meals.

If _one_ person ate sparingly enough and got clever how they prepared their meals; there was enough for a week. _Almost_ a week, maybe.

It occurred to her that _Zuko_ had been the one getting the food out the entire time, so she’d never known exactly how little they had left.

At first, Katara was angry. Zuko had been snapping at her – but then anger turned to confusion. He’d started to look exhausted even though he’d been sleeping…and he was getting to be too thin.

She started to feel guilty, because – Zuko hadn’t been intending to travel with a companion, so he’d been _starving_ himself so she could eat.

He didn’t tell her. Why didn’t he tell her?

If he’d just _told_ her, she could have planned better, and made sure their food was being stretched out.

Idiot. Dumbass.

 _Prince_ Zuko had no idea how to properly ration food. Katara had been under the impression they had more than they actually had.

And then he was skipping meals, taking a few bites at lunch and shoving his portions at her and then sleeping…

He should have told her. But because of what, some sort of pride, he felt he had to – slowly starve himself?

She prepared a simple pot of food.

Zuko woke up roughly an hour later, asking, “W-what happened?”

“You fainted!” Katara said, standing with her hands on her hips.

“I’m fine –“ Zuko started to say.

“You are _not_ fine, _you fainted!”_

“It’s not that big a deal, let’s just go.” Zuko started trying to stand but stopped.

“No! You need to rest,” Katara practically pushed him down. She pushed him too easily – she knew he should have been stronger than this.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, look at him. “About the food?”

He was looking at her wide-eyed.

“You…” Katara began, but she didn’t know how – didn’t like this – hated that Zuko was –

“You were seriously _starving_ yourself?!” Katara demanded, angrily.

“I’m not! I wasn’t!” Zuko denied, exactly like how someone who was caught in the act would say. He was such a terrible liar.

She didn’t understand. She was pissed off at him for doing this. Pissed off at herself for not noticing sooner. “You can’t do stuff like that! Why would you _do_ something like that?!”

Zuko wouldn’t look at her. He bit out his response, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it _does!”_ Katara didn’t understand, at all. Zuko wasn’t supposed to shove his own well-being aside for her sake. He wasn’t supposed to confuse her so much.

“What were you even thinking?!”

Zuko cowered a little, like anyone would do when they’ve got an angry girl yelling at them.

“You needed it more?” Zuko said, as if he couldn’t think of a proper excuse.

She wanted to yell at Zuko some more, but he needed to eat something first.

Katara shoved a small bowl of watered-down soup at him. “Eat it, you stupid ass. You need to at least have something in your stomach.”

Zuko looked as if he wanted to argue, but Katara glared. He ate slowly.

“I don’t understand.” Katara said quietly, from where she sat. She hugged her knees at looked at him. “I don’t understand _you_.”

It made her feel guilty that he’d been doing this, and she hadn’t noticed. She was supposed to notice these things. She’d paid attention to Sokka and Aang, and later Toph.

Zuko had been unwilling to tell her how low their food actually was, and then what? She felt guilty, because – they were two people eating for one, and he’d been making sure that she was getting most of it. Thinking that _she_ had been the one to force him into this position – even unwittingly – it went against everything she’d assumed about him.

He was the stupid, prickly jerk-ass who invaded her village and manhandled Gran-Gran – but still left… He hunted Aang, set Suki’s village on fire…used her mother’s necklace to hunt Aang down…

He was the enemy. But he did a very poor job of it.

He’d helped her; returned her mother’s necklace…and…made sure she got food. She couldn’t figure Zuko out and it annoyed her.

Zuko wouldn’t look at her. He was glaring off to the side, as if he were actually pouting about getting caught.

“It was something I could actually…” Zuko trailed off, not saying anything else. He stubbornly looked anywhere else but at her.

“Please, don’t do this again. _Ever.”_ Katara asked, reaching for him and gripping his arm. “Please. _Tell_ me if we actually need food and whatever other supplies.”

“Okay. We need to buy more food.” Zuko replied.

“If you ever pull this stunt again, I will – I’ll – dunk water on you and make all your belongings wet.”

Zuko arched his eyebrow. “…I could just…steam-dry myself off, though. Remember?”

Katara smacked his arm. “You ass.”

He sent a scowl her way, but he didn’t seem to mean it.

She hoped they could come across a town where they could actually buy something. They needed it.

“Don’t starve yourself for my sake. You need to talk to me, please.”

Zuko was glancing at her, as if searching for something.

“Promise that you’ll talk to me.” Katara said.

Zuko ducked his head and sighed. “…Alright. I promise.”

They rested a while longer.

\----

Thank Yue and La that they came across a town the next day, run-down as it was. But there were people, and they could actually get supplies.

But there was an incident where an Earth Kingdom soldier jerk got hit with an egg thrown by a little boy. The man accused them of throwing the egg, though, it was blatantly obvious it hadn’t come from them.

“Must have been a flying chicken.” Zuko replied dryly.

The man scoffed, and smirked haughtily and tried to take what little supplies they literally had just bought. “Thank you for your contribution to the Earth Kingdom army.”

Except, this soldier found himself facing up against an exhausted Waterbender who hated the fact that Zuko had starved himself so she could eat. Katara had much better things to do than let themselves be taken advantage of.

“Don’t _even.”_ Katara hissed like a viper-rat, icicle talons ready to claw the man’s eyes out.

She caught Zuko staring at her, and his expression looked more amused than anything else.

The man’s eyes widened very briefly, before he wisely backed off. He had a mocking tone in his voice. “Very well, then.”

His uneasiness was obvious to see though, as he probably wasn’t used to people standing up to him. He probably saw that there would be too much trouble in trying to steal from them.

Gow – and his men unfortunately, they learned from the shopkeeper, were more like goons. They did nothing to help, and weren’t any better than the Fire Nation. Katara hated it, and silently wished they could do more.

She couldn’t tell what Zuko was thinking. She wondered if he cared.

The little boy who had thrown the egg revealed himself, and said that his name was Lee.

“Aw. Big Li and Little Lee.” Katara cooed, while Zuko rolled his eyes.

“You guys were _so_ cool, standing up to Gow!” Lee excitedly rambled.

Little Lee took them back to his house and excitedly introduced them to his parents, Gansu and Sela. Lee retold events in a very dramatic and over-embellished fashion. According to Lee, they both had beat Gao up and he ran away crying with his tail between his legs.

“That’s not exactly what happened…” Zuko muttered to Lee’s parents.

But they both smiled and nodded.

Gansu commented, giving his fists a few swings, “It’s about time someone put Gao and his men in their place.”

“So, what brings you two all the way out here?” Sela asked with a smile.

It then occurred to Katara that they hadn’t even bothered to figure out how they were going to introduce themselves to people – they couldn’t pass for being brother and sister. Two people like them traveling together – others would make certain _assumptions_ about them.

Zuko obviously didn’t want to reveal his true identity, and it was better if he didn’t.

Katara was quick to respond with the first plausible thing that came to her mind as she hugged Zuko’s arm, “Li’s my betrothed!”

Katara grimaced, hoping it passed for a smile. Much better excuses now chose to flood into her mind; _after_ claiming Zuko was her betrothed.

Zuko coughed and choked and blushed, as if he’d lost all his words. Thankfully, Gansu and Sela took Zuko’s surprised outburst as being anything else than what it actually was.

Sela chuckled and “awe’d”.

“We’re traveling to make a new life in Ba Sing Se.” Katara joyfully explained, adding onto the awkward lie, while patting Zuko’s back.

“Ah, young love.” Gansu nodded. “I remember when I was courting my Sela.”

“You were the handsomest boy in the village.” Sela replied with a giggle. “I thought I was the luckiest girl.”

Lee made faces as his parents both looked lovingly into each other’s eyes.

In exchange for room and board, Zuko and Katara were put to work. Zuko was clearly awkward and not used to working, but he was somewhat managing it.

Though, Gansu kept making comments about the fake couple, and asking stuff like, “How are you going to care for that pretty wife of yours if you can’t (insert some menial task here)?”

Katara almost felt bad for him. She probably shouldn’t have been so amused at seeing Zuko so far outside of his element.

On top of that, Lee was following Zuko around, chattering away. He was asking question after question, and kept mentioning an older brother who was off fighting in the war. He asked Zuko about his scar, and Zuko ended up hitting his thumb.

Zuko muffled several curses.

Gansu raised a brow.

Lee looked disappointed that he hadn’t caught any of Zuko’s extensive vocabulary.

Katara had never really thought about how Zuko had gotten the scar. It had always just been a part of his face. If she asked, would he tell her?

Sela commented, “Your Li seems…interesting.”

“Haha, yeah…he is.” Katara awkwardly trailed off, not sure how to continue.

“Well, there’s work to be done.” Sela said clapping her hands. “Let’s go.”

\---

Sela kept wanting to talk to her about aspects of her life, and Katara was saved when Zuko came in with Gansu and Lee, and she ran up and hugged him. “Li!”

“Uh…Katara?”

“Come on, I need to tell you something.” Katara acted far more chipper than she usually did. “Outside.”

“But…” Zuko started, looking confused.

 _“Now,_ dear.” Katara insisted through a forced smile.

Outside, she quickly told him as she whispered, “If anyone asks, we met in the port town Zhuangzi when we were traveling for work. You asked me out first, but I initially said ‘no’ –“

Zuko frowned. “Why would you say no?”

Katara couldn’t read Zuko’s expression but she waved it off.

“Does it really matter? Just make something up if you want, Zuko.” Katara then continued, _“Anyway,_ after we worked together for a bit longer and got to know each other I began to see you for you and so then I agreed to go on a date with you. And then after five months of dating, you proposed. And after discussing it, that’s how we come to be traveling to make a new life for ourselves in Ba Sing Se.”

Zuko looked as if he wanted to ask more questions, but stayed silent.

Both Gansu and Sela were giving them “knowing” looks as they walked back into the house. Zuko looked annoyed and very much ready to snap and argue if anyone said anything. Katara felt her embarrassment hot on her face. She was slightly annoyed at Zuko. Was the idea of being married to her _that_ bad?

They settled down to eat.

Sela was so kind and friendly, but Yue and La, why did she want to keep asking questions?! Katara felt a tad guilty because well, she was probably the first new person a busy woman like Sela had been able to talk to in a while.

She probably also wanted to dispense whatever marital wisdom she thought the young couple might need.

“So, Katara didn’t get a chance to answer,” Sela was saying (how did she remember where they left off in their earlier conversation?!) “What were you two doing for work when you met?”

Katara was rapidly trying to think of a story of how she and Zuko met that didn’t involve him crashing into her village and threatening people.

“Circus. We Juggled.” Zuko quickly said.

“Fishermen.” Katara answered at the same time.

The couple sent them both odd looks.

“Wow! That’s so cool!” Lee was wide-eyed.

Zuko winced, and Katara arched her brow at him. Seriously, _juggling?!_ Where did that come from?

Now, both he and Katara were trying to muddle their way through the story.

While Zuko nodded also answering at nearly the same time, “The circus needed the fish...to eat and feed…the animals while we…uh, travelled?”

“Yep! Traveling, juggling fishermen…heh.” Katara quickly added, mentally smacking herself for forgetting the ‘traveling for work’ detail _she_ had made up. “Gotta work hard to earn that money.”

“That’s _so_ interesting,” Gansu looked genuinely interested. “I bet you’ve seen many interesting places!”

 _That_ was something both she and Zuko could genuinely answer. Though, Zuko was slightly more stilted in his responses, since he had to tell it from a traveler’s perspective and not that of a soldier’s.

Zuko ended up saying something about how he was from one of the colonies, and he had to leave, but didn’t offer up any more details. Which was a decent enough excuse. There was no way for Zuko to hide his pale skin and gold eyes.

Both Gansu and Sela looked at Zuko; or more specifically, his scar. They looked at Zuko with something akin to pity, and he seemed to know it. He busied himself with picking at his food.

It was probably better to let people make their own assumptions and connect whatever dots they thought might be there.

The food was filling and it was the tastiest thing Katara had eaten since what felt like forever. She made sure Zuko ate extra, and ignored how the married couple looked at them.

“You’ve got a good woman on your hands, Li.” Gansu said quietly. “You take care of her, ya’hear?”

“I think you’re both very lucky to have each other.” Sela added, with a gentle, motherly smile. It somewhat made Katara wonder if that’s how her own mother would have looked at her upon meeting her betrothed.

Katara blushed, while Zuko mutely nodded and leaned over his food.

Lee made gagging noises.

“I’m _never_ gonna get married!” Lee declared, resolutely. “I don’t wanna get all sappy.”

His parents laughed.

“You very well might change your mind one day, young man.” Sela said, running a hand through his messy hair.

The conversation thankfully moved from them to other topics – their other son Sensu, and how he was fighting the Fire Nation…

Zuko remained very quiet and didn’t look up.

Katara asked a few questions, detailing about their son.

His regiment actually wasn’t that far away…only a day or so’s travel from what Gansu and Sela had heard – from Gao, and other soldiers passing through. The idea of the Fire Nation army being so close…

“The Fire Nation isn’t going to come here, right?” Lee asked, in all of his childish fear, innocence, and curiosity.

“Absolutely not,” Gansu assured, like any parent would even if they had the same exact fear.

“Your big, strong brother’s fighting to keep them away, so you don’t have anything to worry about.” Sela said, patting Lee’s arm.


	4. In Which Zuko Explains and Katara has Hope for Greater Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko opens up, and Katara listens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was mostly already written and it's been snowing just about non-stop today and shows no sign of stopping.

They bade their host goodnight and settled in. They laid on their shared blanket, listening the farm animals making various snorts and huffs.

“They’re really nice, you know.” Katara said quietly. “Gansu, Sela, and Lee.”

“I guess.”

Zuko had watched how Gansu interacted with Sela and Lee. He always hugged Sela, and looked at her with such gentleness. He always reached out to Lee, ruffling his hair. When they spoke of Sansu, they clearly loved him and were so proud.

Some small, dark part of Zuko just about envied the kid. He didn’t know how lucky he truly was.

_‘Azula was born lucky. You were lucky to be born.’_

These peasants; this family – they had so little, yet – it was like they had so much.

Zuko was the Prince – _ex-_ Prince of the Fire Nation, and he no longer had any of those things.

Maybe there was something wrong with him that made him so unlovable that Father – the Fire Lord – felt that he had to burn and banish him; strip him of his honor just to make him worthy of finally earning that love.

Azula earned it far more easily.

Mother had loved him freely. So had Uncle.

When Katara spoke of her father – she was upset that he had to leave, even if she understood. But he was clearly someone she missed. Katara didn’t – he was a man to be feared, but not by his children.

All of it had been--

Katara’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“Uh-What?” Zuko said, realizing that he hadn’t been paying attention.

“I was saying how it makes me miss my own family.”

She was quiet for a moment. Then she asked, “Do you miss your uncle?”

Her voice was gentle. Like she was carefully edging towards some trapped, panicked animal. She’d probably back off if Zuko pushed her away.

He found his voice, and instead answered with, “Yeah. I do.”

Zuko breathed in and out, with a loud sigh. His voice was barely a whisper, and he felt Katara shift closer so she could hear him.

“…A few weeks after the North...Uncle and I were at an inn recovering. Azula came to see us. I _should_ _have known,_ Uncle thought something was off. He even said so. He was right, because of course he always…” Zuko didn’t finish that sentence, because he didn’t know if he should use past or present tense. He continued, “Azula never does stuff like…she’s not some lowly message carrier. It _should_ have been obvious because it was _her.”_

Zuko shifted, taking in a deep breath. Talking about this – finally saying it all out loud and admitting everything – to a sort-of-stranger-but-not, made it all the more real. Would Katara see him as pathetic and desperate as he’d felt?

Haltingly, he told Katara only the important bits and pieces of what had happened.

Azula had told him their father wanted him back – that he regretted everything. Father was sorry, and wanted Zuko back home.

(But Zuko wasn’t ready or willing to tell Katara why he’d had to leave in the first place. Thankfully, she didn’t ask.)

Zuko couldn’t believe it. After all this time, Father wanted him home; Father had forgiven him.

(Zuko felt his voice hitch – he wasn’t – he _wasn’t_ crying, he adamantly _refused_ – but – if there had been a light source in the barn where Katara could see his face, he definitely wouldn’t be talking about this _at all.)_

But because Azula _always_ lies, Zuko had believed her.

(Why did he always believe her?)

Uncle had commented that something was off. He was the first to think that _something_ about the whole situation was suspicious. But Zuko had told him that he was wrong. Zuko had thought that Uncle was just being a foolish, washed-up, tea-drinking old man who didn’t know what he was talking about. Like always.

(But Uncle always knew what to say, always knew how to read people far more easily. Zuko cringed at the thought of the insults he’d so often thrown at his uncle without caring. If he’d talked like that to Father – Zuko had just spoken up without insulting anyone, but he’d been disrespectful. Father would have done far worse than simply burn his face and banish him.)

Zuko was just so desperate, so homesick, simply wanted to earn Father’s forgiveness after everything, he didn’t even stop to consider – didn’t even listen – he thought he _finally_ had…earned Father’s love.

He should have been suspicious because _Azula_ was the messenger; but because Azula was the one telling him, he’d believed her.

The soldiers escorted them, treating them like the royalty they were.

They had been on the ship for several hours at that point when Zuko – his hearing had always been good; his right side now over-compensated to make up for his left. He overheard a conversation between the soldiers…

What were they supposed to do with the prisoners upon reaching the Fire Nation?

There were other details that Zuko nearly missed because of the roaring in his ears.

Uncle started speaking, asking what was wrong.

Zuko shushed him – and he listened. Was it a coup?

Seeing how serious Zuko was, Uncle immediately went quiet and listened too.

But then, _Azula’s_ voice – Azula _knew._ She _approved_ – she _lied_ – _Azula always lies._

 _‘Accidents happen,’_ she said, _‘my brother’s hardly a threat. We can control dear, old Uncle if my brother is threatened, then Uncle will cooperate.’_

People were speaking, and he listened as Azula left with them – her voice slowly fading out as she issued commands.

They were planning to use him – would threaten bodily harm – accidents happen, the Prince was struggling and oops, he injured himself – they planned to _use him_ to make Uncle comply.

He’d been the one to hold Uncle back, if he hadn’t been there – been so useless –

Everything came crashing down as Zuko realized that Father wanted him back – but only in chains.

(He heard Katara gasp. He felt her fingers brush up against his. He flinched, but didn’t pull away. Katara, probably encouraged, took hold of his hand. In a way, it grounded him. It brought a comfort he didn’t realize he’d needed.)

The gossip was that the invasion at the North Pole had been so disastrous, that _someone_ needed to take the fall, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the Fire Lord.

Uncle frowned, putting pieces together that Zuko didn’t even realize were there because his mind was too busy processing what he’d heard.

 _'Zhao’s dead,'_ Uncle pointed out, _'so, even if Ozai approved of the plan, it went so disastrously. Someone has to take the fall. That leaves us as convenient scapegoats.'_

Zuko could just hear Azula as if she were in the room right there with them as she mocked him for actually thinking that Father would want him back. Why would Father want someone who was a failure and brought him so much shame? At least he’d finally be useful.

_‘Father’s going to kill you. No, really, he is.’_

Azula always got into his head; and she wasn’t even actively trying right now.

Nearly three years of Zuko’s life – all of it – he began to realize, had been for absolutely _nothing_. Father had given him that small hope of returning; of _finally_ being able to make him proud, and make up for – and he was never going to – Father didn’t want him. It would have hurt so much less if Father had just been up front with him and simply banished him with no hope of ever returning.

Uncle had Zuko move out of line of sight of the door. He waited a few minutes, and tested the door by opening it.

Uncle laughed, joked about being sore and old, asking if someone would mind bringing him some kind of tea…his nephew was asleep, didn’t want to bother him…

Zuko heard someone say that they’d go get the requested tea…

Once Uncle had confirmed that they had guards – that there was a suspiciously large number of them for two people who were supposed to be honored guests.

They whispered plans of escape, with Uncle imparting his nonsensical wisdom about pai-sho, Ba Sing Se, and reminding Zuko of the various things he’d taught him over the years.

Zuko opened the porthole. He could fit through. Drifting all those days on a makeshift raft and starving – Zuko had lost a lot of weight. If he’d been his usual size, there would have been no way for him to fit. Zuko never thought that he would thank Agni for that.

Maybe Zuko could get a lifeboat, except that would have made too much noise.

Zuko wanted to help Uncle too, but Uncle told him that there was no time. Uncle said that he’d only slow Zuko down, and Zuko tried to argue – but – then Zuko realized that Uncle hadn’t been planning escape for himself during the entire conversation.

Zuko hadn’t been able to help.

The ship docked at an Earth Kingdom port; there wasn’t time to figure out why.

They said their goodbyes, and Uncle called him ‘Son’ and said that he was so very proud.

_‘Remember to think things through, nephew.’_

(He’d done a real bang-up job of that, hadn’t he.)

The last time he saw Uncle, when he was leaving him behind – Uncle smiled and waved.

He’d dived into the water, and held his breath, waiting. Just in case. There were no alarms signaling his escape. He swam away from the ship towards shore, but swam wide so he’d come onto a different dock on a different part of the island.

Zuko was alone, and the ship sailing back home – _not_ his home anymore – he no longer had a home – it was long gone. Zuko sat on some Earth Kingdom shore, truly alone and realizing too late that the only one to actually care for him after his mother was Iroh. Realizing that through everything, Uncle had stuck with him even when Zuko had yelled, insulted, and cursed at him.

He hadn’t been able to help Uncle – Zuko had been useless, just like he always was. He couldn’t help Uncle. There was no way he could go up against an entire army – he didn’t have his swords, he didn’t have anything – and even if he could – his escape would have been for nothing.

So he’d cut his hair, and waited until nightfall to sneak into town. He stole clothes, supplies, some drunk guy’s ostrich-horse, and another’s dual dao.

With nowhere else to go, he’d simply wandered along, resorting to stealing what he needed to survive. He no longer had anything to strive towards.

Uncle had mentioned a few secret codes and playing pai-sho, and that was how he could get into Ba Sing Se – except, Zuko hadn’t really bothered to try. It felt too much like giving up. Hiding behind walls, and just…living out his life like a peasant for however many years because he couldn’t win.

He’d never win.

And not long after, he ran into Katara.

\----

He’d finally told someone – admitting his stupidity, his failure, and how far he’d truly fallen. His other hand covered his face, hiding his shame, even though Katara couldn’t see him. She probably thought he was an idiot, too. Maybe she could finally tell him – pinpoint all the flaws that made him so –

Katara’s voice was barely a whisper, “I’m so sorry, Zuko.”

She sounded as if she truly meant it.

“I’m banished, and a fugitive on the run from my own country.” Zuko was spiraling, and he couldn’t stop. “I don’t have anything, anymore. There’s nowhere for me to go. I’m such an idiot and a failure, and Father was right about--”

Both hands clasped his own and squeezed tightly. She had such small, yet strong hands. His fingers slowly curled around her hand as he returned to himself, welcoming her comfort.

“No.” Her voice was firm. “You’re not any of those things – you make stupid decisions and you seriously make me want to smack some sense into you – but – you’re _not_ an idiot. Whatever your father says about you, he’s wrong.”

Katara was… She didn’t know. She seemed to see things that he couldn’t, and he wasn’t sure why she was so…why she sounded so sure.

He’d lived with Ozai for thirteen years; and had only really known Katara for almost two weeks. She didn’t know everything about him, hadn’t known him long enough to see what Father could – and yet – she believed Father was wrong.

He didn’t know what to do with an unfamiliar, warm feeling that started to form in his stomach – like – it was different than his Inner Fire. It brought a different kind of warmth. He pushed the not-unpleasant-feeling aside. He focused on other things instead.

“What if they killed Uncle?” Zuko whispered. “He’s the only one who…what if they torture him? He’s a legitimate threat – what if they cut off his hands and feet? If not that, they probably have him locked away in the deepest, darkest cell without sunlight. Firebenders can go crazy and die if they’re cut off from the Sun long enough.”

“You can’t think like that, Zuko.” Katara said. “You have to have hope for the best. Because without that hope…all you can think about is the worst case scenarios. Do you _really_ want to imagine your uncle being subject to _all_ of that?”

She had a point. So he tried to be optimistic.

“…He’s a war hero, and a member of the royal family, so maybe they have him in chains locked in a cell where there’s sunlight. Maybe they’ve just broken his arms and legs and not cut them off.”

He wasn’t very good at optimism.

“Not exactly what I meant, but I’ll take it.” Katara replied with a humorless laugh.

She didn’t let go, and Zuko didn’t push her away.

They both were quiet, staring into the darkness.

Katara was first to break the silence.

“Zuko…you could come with me. Aang needs a firebending teacher.” Katara continued when he didn’t say anything. “You said yourself that you’re a fugitive. So give them an _actual reason_ to make you a wanted criminal. Help Aang stop the war, and you can rescue your uncle.”

“I…” Zuko halted. “It’s more complicated than that, I…I don’t know. I’m not even…” he breathed in and out, holding onto her.

He wasn’t a very good Firebender, so there wasn’t much the Avatar could learn from him even if Zuko agreed to teach him.

He thought of his father, always towering over him, and the last time he’d seen Father…Zuko didn’t like thinking about it. He never liked thinking about it.

Zuko was _loyal_. He always had been. He wasn’t a traitor; he absolutely wasn’t.

But where had that loyalty gotten him? Burned, banished and sent off on a wild goose-pig chase. Zhao hadn’t respected him – his crew hadn’t respected him – Father constantly favored Zhao over his own son.

He’d been too stupid to see it then, wondering _why_ …

The terms of his banishment had constantly gotten updated, always hindering his progress, and he’d receive letters informing him of towns he was no longer allowed to step foot in simply because they were now considered Fire Nation territory.

He traveled the world, yet it constantly felt like it was shrinking as the Fire Nation expanded. He’d believed in the Fire Nation’s cause for so long…but he’d been forced out. Why should he be loyal to a country that wasn’t loyal to him? But he loved the Fire Nation. It was his home.

The harsh reality of finally acknowledging and accepting that his father didn’t want him…Zuko didn’t want to admit that to Katara, though…he’d probably told her just enough that she’d probably figure it out on her own if she sorted through the pieces and thought about it hard enough. Maybe she’d already figured it out.

She didn’t pity him, but she probably would. He didn’t want pity.

His life had been ripped away from him not once, but twice; and the few remaining scraps he’d had left were gone.

The Avatar was the enemy…if Zuko helped him, there most definitely would be absolutely _no_ going back.

“I…I don’t know.” Zuko said, because he was thinking of a home that should have been. Because siding with the Avatar made everything so… _final._

Could he still have it if he…

It probably didn’t matter anymore.

“Okay.” Katara replied. “Just promise me you’ll think about it?”

“…Okay.”

Katara snuggled closer to him and didn’t let go of his hand.

“It’ll work out, Zuko. Everything will be okay, we’ll all get to go home.”

She spoke of families finally being able to reunite.

“I’ll revive waterbending back home. I’ll open a school, and teach the girls to fight and the boys to heal. The Waterbenders can learn whatever they want, no matter their gender.”

Katara had so much hope. She spoke of her plans as if they were already feasible – she just had to take that final, chasm-sized step forward.

It was a traitorous thought to think of a world that was not dominated by the Fire Nation. It was…

Gansu, Sela, and Lee could finally see Sansu again.

He could finally go home, and visit the turtle-duck pond whenever he wanted. Maybe Mother was still alive.

Katara could finally live the life she imagined.

Zuko fell asleep listening to Katara’s voice. Instead of his usual nightmares, he dreamt about the touch cool water and eyes of blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it begins, ever so gradually...
> 
> Also found several mistakes that escaped my editing process and fixed them....

**Author's Note:**

> More coming soon and will update tags accordingly. Let me know if there are any tags you think should be there.
> 
> Stalk me on Tumblr: [adorkablemamebean](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adorkablemamebean)


End file.
